By : Qurratul Ain Shah
Naturally girls give more value to emotional intimacy in relationships than reasoning. As a baby girl she has a house of love which she wants to shower as an elder daughter she cares for Hari’s younger brothers and sisters and helps her mother in the household. she gives love and cares to family members and in return receives praise and more affection. A girl’s personality blooms with amicable watering of her blood relations at the threshold. When biological changes come she feels something awesome and wants a particular satisfaction of her body and emotions this satisfaction is full filled by the knots of marriage. This is the turning point of her life. A female has two lives. One at the home of her parents and the second life starts after the marriage. Most females tragedies start at this phase of life. At parents house she has enjoyed beautiful mutual love but in- laws she is treated as punished Mujrim. This colourful bloomed rose like lady ‘s every colour every petel is plugged and snatches one by one in the name of so called family traditions. In our culture there are many small Patti affairs in which this lady has to follow the family traditions for example not carrying half sleeves shirts not wearing black dress in normal routine life .even open heatedly laughter is not allowed. This laughter is considered as ironic laughter of established norms. Even a single act of happiness of a girl is assumed as planned insulting action for the family. In Pakistani social culture even a wife cannot express her love for husband. It is expected that a wife should keep at length from husband. Her emotional intimacy for her husband is considered a huge vulgarity. Because of such a silly environment a pleasant personality of a girl turns into a statue expressions are banned. Pouring love is necessary action for positive relationships in-laws but the irony of situations is that such showering love is dealt with iron handedly.’in the form of pinched sentences as”over clever” witch” mean and drama Queen. She is honoured with such types of titles. It’s a natural instinct that women come into reaction rather than action. As a result that drama queen starts drama really for unearned sufferings. She puts her all efforts to defeat her laws clan. In books she had been studying every action have reaction but in laws family this theory of gravity badly fails .this is universal psychology of subcontinent families daughter in law is considered” Invader “terrorist.”mother in law feels direct enemy of her family. She feels this girl would steal her son and will separate her son and daughters. In order to avoid such assumed further she starts doing negative reporting about her daughter-in-law. To make situation more valid head women of that family does precautionary measures such as showering extra love for married son. personal illness is emphasized. Subcontinent mother in -Law portrayed pitiable situation and marital affairs of her married daughters to let that man compare his wife’s artificial happiness with troubled some situation of his sisters. Male is head of the family but acting influential aged women turns the situation in her favour. A situation where her daughter may enjoy all human rights but there is no space for daughter in-law rights. Daughter in-law is also human being. If she commits something wrong it’s the moral duty of the in law family to ignore these minor actions and let her know what is good with good actions. But in our society mistakes and errors of the girls are polarized. Her human flaws are spread like “news.”in this way family matters become public matters. when such families are made public so there is no chance of their positive solution. Because our society is a negative society they contribute in enhancing more negativity between family members. Every individual in society will give a solution to the problem by putting more fuel on fire. This war continues from generation to generation. Subcontinent girls try to breathe in positive air. Her last hope is her husband .she shares and tries to settle down negativity into positivity. She surrenders herself to her husband,. Pours all her beautiful emotions ‘passions and diamond love. A Pakistani wife emotionally psychologically and physically crosses all limits of her” self respect “for her husband’s happiness. Now in this situation the husband evaluates each feeling and act of his wife at the touch stone of logic. Because too much of a good husband is also By Nature less privileged with passions and sometimes during evaluation he becomes a victim of prejudice. This is the turning point of a wife’s life ‘ intimacy of women breaks into thousands of pieces her heart screams like an infant child and she shouts ‘ she cries in her loneliness ‘in her prayers in bed covering her face and tries to suppress her screaming. Usually in washrooms to flash out her pearls like tears. Psychologically it is one sided emotional attachment which resulted into one person ‘s spiritual murder, with the passage of times she inwardly dies after her in word death now their would be no more quarrel with her husband. like house maid she will work,will do performer her duties like machine. A man after slaughtering that beautiful girl says” I feel nothing special in you I am fed up now.” Then after destroying his home Paradise he Rushes to market girls to release tension ‘to Quench the thirst of being loved . In this way the pain increases as soon as he tries to heal. At the end of the social scenario both are died women first and man at the end. I wish both man and married women may have good and enjoying emotional intimacy in their relationships. According to me adopting logical approach towards the situation can be handled if a woman would not develop too much emotional relationship with her husband. It’s universal truth excess of everything is bad. A man’s capacity of love is lesser than women. A biological man is conquerer , he feels at most pleasure to conquer .hough it may be victory in relationships. Only this straight of man’s personality made him head of the family having strong nerves having capacity to face bravely all social and economical issues. When a wife tries is best to adjust her husband in her” inner world of passions “this situation would automatically did suffocate her husband .Definitely he will escape from her. Reasonable lady should understand the psychology of a man. A wife should pour her love according to the receiving capacity of husband neither too much not too less less. There should be a mutual love. Here husbands should deal with their wife as a baby -girl giving value to her petty happiness and her petty affairs by praising her . Husband should encourages his wife in householding affairs he should ignore her mistakes and misbehaves generously. Husband should share everyday routine with her ‘such sharing and caring would water there relationship in to beautiful word of love. A good husband understands the biological and psychological domains of his wife. A wife is honour and respect of his family and she is the mother of his children, a good husband would have knowledge about the likeness of her baby wife. isn’t it insulting for a man a conqueror of the word that he is in capable to conquer the heart of baby -wife . Nature bestowed man with much power of analytical reasoning and management so he should act like “A man “husband would try to receive pure love from his wife ‘would enjoy his small Kingdom. In this way he may have facilities of caring made in shape of wife. A wife’s world starts from home and ends at home while husband’s worlds starts from home and ends at last edge of outer world. so need is to carry both worlds logically and sensibly. It is observed good mutual compatibility of couples would produce children that are most intelligent and practical than others. Such children have learnt much unconsciously about social’psychology and emotional manipulations. They have better understanding for things and persons. they know the art of living happily. Such environment teach them relationship education because they have closely observed Kings attributes in the shape of Father and Queens relationship management in the shape of their mother. Incoming era we need such married couples those have strong sense of producing morally and socially mature society. Husband should act like “sahib”king of the family. Wife should corporate with her husband because both are mile stone of prosperous world.
